My Liking Precedes Me

Among the somethings never
before said, this.
It wasn’t difficult to write,
except that it’s balanced
finely on two decades
of effort,

a culmination.
It provokes at the same time
pride and envy.
I have done this,
though not to my liking.

My liking precedes me,
a small dark smudge of feathers
whose words are mine but not mine.
I chase it as it narrates the future
and mocks the past.

You should be anyone other than yourself,
it says.

Among the few things never
before admitted, that.
It was difficult to write,
balanced finely on two decades
of failure.